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The visit

I met Satyen first when Ross invited him to an Arkaya class I was facilitating four years ago. His warmth and respect for the practice came through his quiet presence. We stayed in touch through fb and recently went for Thai dinner with his wife Suzanne as well.

He and Suzanne invited me to visit them earlier but it did not align. Just after Christmas when Bhaiya (elder brother in Hindi) invited me saying he would like me to meet his family who were visiting, it fell into place effortlessly. I had a student who wanted to connect and get a manthra and clearing and was happy to drive me to Langley on the 30th Dec, Wednesday.

The Covid scare

We were almost there, when Bhaiya Satyen called to let us know that some at home were sniffling and if we wanted to risk it. We decided to wear our masks, social distance and fly by, however it turned out to be a very pleasant and connected visit.

The all embracing Indian auntyji

I met his brother and his sweet family, however it was his mom Daksha aunty whose enthusiasm to learn kept me engaged in the beginning. She had started online yoga a month ago and could not ask many questions in her class. So after a few minutes of pleasantries, she was clear in instructing what I needed to do , the guileless nature of which made me feel even more at home.

She said, take off your coat and sit here pointing to a thick mat. I showed her the difference between the bhasthrika or the bellows breath and the kapalabhati or the shining skull breath. In the west the kapalabhati is what is called the breath of fire instead of the bhasthrika. I prefer teaching the bhasthrika pranayama first as it grounds the person. It was an intelligent question as these two breaths are what most get confused with and unless one has a good teacher as a beginner, the confusion will come back to haunt you for many years.

To mask or unmask

In television series like ''Never have I ever'', the Indian aunty gets a bad rep. However there are a big portion of aunties who are endearing as they refuse to wear the mask of separation. Daksha aunty clearly told me, take off your mask so I can see what you are doing with the bhasthrika and Ujjayi.

It is refreshing to be unmasked, and share an un diminishing enthusiasm for life and love for others. You can see the openness with which such aunties give and receive. There was a pang of politeness that surfaced as she asked Satyen if it was ok she was asking me so many questions and in effect taking over the conversation. I reassured her I was enjoying her enthusiasm and love for learning.

Carollyne's presence

That is when I saw Carollyne for the first time in the flesh. Her quiet presence moved from the edge of the sofa to sit between Daksha aunty and Satyen as auntyji was sharing and enquiring. We barely spoke yet I felt her presence.

Swami Kripalvananda

We were filled with great chai and verse by Satyen, along with stories of Swami Kripalvananda and his books. He had a strong presence as do most real yogis and wondered about him.

Dream of Lakshmi Narasimha was connected to Carollyne

The next Wednesday, Jan 6th I had a dream of a Lakshmi Narasimha shrine/ temple just outside the back door of Satyen and Suzannes's home overlooking the lake. That was my kula deivam. This means that through my grandfather who was my first guru I am connected to the energy and legacy of Lakshmi Narasimha. This is the first time I had a dream of my kula deivam. There were other parts to the dream as well where I had glimpses of a slice of life with Satyen and Suzanne.

I somehow thought that it must be connected to Swami Kripalvananda and started researching his lineage. Like many yogic traditions his guru was from a Shavaite tradition. What about his birth family, I wondered. They were Brahmin and maybe they were a Vaishnavite tradition which would then tie into my dream of Lakshmi Narasimha, I thought. Not being able to find anything on that, I wrote to Satyen and Suzanne on Friday and the next day I got a call from Bhaiya telling me that Carollyne had passed the night I had the dream. It was around 9.00 pm he mentioned. I knew then that the shrine/temp overlooking the lake, at the back of their home was Carollyne's

Shaivaite = those invoking Shiva

Vaishnavaite = those invoking vishnu

Both Shiva and Vishnu are just different forms of the supreme and the principle of Nirguna brahman ( formless cosmic consciousness) states that , it does not matter in the end. Each stream has a set of symbolism , rituals and unfolding that helps ground us in the material world and transcend it.

Significance of Lakshmi Narasimha

Lakshmi as many of you know is the beautiful Indian goddess offering us an abundance of material and spiritual blessings. This mother of prosperity sits on a pink lotus and has four arms. Gold coins pour out of her arms as they inspire us to walk the right path fearlessly. Her name comes from the root word Lakshya meaning goal where she asks us to have our eyes on the highest goal of liberation. She can be birthed in us as we consistently churn our unconscious and free it from toxins.

1) The left upper arm holds a half or fully opened lotus, that symbolises dharma ( Aligning with cosmic order). The lotus represents the capacity to rise above muddy consciousness into clear thinking and being. Dharma is the foundation for fulfilling desires as well as moksha or freedom from them.

2) The left lower arm symbolises Artha. Artha is this capacity to enjoy the fruits of the earth and her hand is held in the Varadha mudra out of which gold coins are pouring. Varadha means to give. She is telling us to appreciate and partake in prosperity

Mudhra = energetic seal

3) Right lower hand is held in the Abhaya mudra. Abhaya means fearless. This hand symbolises Kama.

Kama means desire. Not just sexual desire , so popularised by the ancient text kama sutra but any desire or pleasure of the senses like music, arts, foods etc. This is considered a healthy engagement as long as it is in line with dharma and does not interfere too much with financial stability or artha and moves us towards moksha or liberation rather than getting addicted. Kama is an exploration through the senses, finding connection and fulfillment just as a child might touch, smell, taste and eat a piece of dirt to have a unitive experience.

4) The right upper hand has a fully bloomed lotus that symbolises Moksha or liberation from the unconscious vritti or whirlpools that prevent us from seeing our original nature.

The coins fall in all directions to show us that prosperity is in every direction and an owl sits where the coins fall to remind us of using the wealth wisely. It also reminds us of Alakshmi or the shadow of Lakshmi when wealth is squandered. The four white elephants not only symbolise purity of purpose but the never ending stream of wealth that we can tap into if aligned with the wisdom to use wealth.

Narasimha is a combination of Nara or man and simha or lion. Narasimha is the fourth avatar or incarnation of Vishnu. Rama was the seventh and Krishna the eighth, Buddha the ninth and there is yet another Avatar to come called kalki avtar. Please do not get fooled by self professed Kalki avatars

To understand Narasimha you have to understand Prahalada. Prahaladha was the son of Kayadhu and Hiranyakashipu. Kayadhu means righteous while Hiranyakasipu though a king and warrior was of demonic nature, declared himself God and revelled in his wealth and desire for unbridled power. These two people had a son called Prahalada who was raised by Naradha a sage as he rescued Kayadhu from being abducted. The manthras and nourishment he received in the womb as well as aftercoming into this world prevented Prahalada from declaring his dad as god despite his love for his father. This act of not pandering to his ego angered Hiranyakashipu enough to want his own boy dead. Narasimha is the avatar or incarnation Vishnu takes to protect Pahaladha. Hiranyakashipu had the boon of not being killed by man or animal, not at night or day, not inside the house or outside, not by a weapon and not a drop of his blood could fall on the earth.

Ripping the veil of ignorance

As Vishnu emerged from a pillar and devoured Hiranyakashipu, he was neither man nor animal but a man with the head of a lion, it was twilight, so it was neither night nor day, he used his nails to tear Hiranyakashipu on the mutham or area that is the front portico, neither inside or outside the house and drank his blood, so not a drop fell to the ground. This is to show that however invincible a dark being thinks himself to be, the divine has a solution to end his reign. And a devotee or lover of the divine being tormented was not tolerated.

Connecting to Carollyne's spirit

I attended her online memorial to understand a bit about her. My deepest condolences to her son Tim, Satyen and Suzanne.

I saw how Carollyne loved and how much she was loved. That was invaluable to witness. I heard her being referred to as Lakshmi and a protector more than a couple of times. I was looking for a connection between Swami Kripalu and the Lakshmi Narasimha shrine in my dream, yet I clearly saw that she was the karma yogi who had served tirelessly with an open heart. She will forever be enshrined in the hearts and minds of those she was a Lakshmi and Narasimha to. Suzanne said that she feels Carollyne would be treading the universe as she treaded the waters . Her being rests in the temple of all she served.