Grieving Old Worlds: Theme for Online Arkaya Community Class - May 2 2020

GRIEVING OLD WORLDS

Tears - True Expressions of a Tender Heart

This theme will be addressed by Yogacharini Maitreyi on Saturday May 2, 2020 during our Online Arkaya Community Class. The zoom session is from 11 am to 1 pm every Saturday.

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Grieving Helps Letting Go

As we let go of old relationships we can move through the transitions better by allowing ourselves to grieve. If we give ourselves permission to grieve, that does not mean the old relationship or old world order was the best but that it was something we were attached to and cared about. This human attachment needs to be acknowledged, not ignored. In some spiritual circles we are told that everything is impermanent, which does not mean we do not feel the depth of our humanness and tenderheartedness. We also acknowledge connections where we might have gotten emotionally enmeshed and take on another's unresolved pain. There is no shame in seeing that. It is part of our human journey and emotions are great messengers as well as movers of stuck energy. The emotions become the gateway to new ways of being and seeing.

Stagnation of Grief Can Create Pain

When grief is unresolved in us, it stagnates and creates energetic blocks. During private sessions with my coaching clients, some of them have a good cry and the pain they were holding finally releases. This stagnation of unprocessed grief can be felt especially in our lungs, upper chest and throat. This tension soon turns to pain. The pain morphs into anger, edginess or underlying anxiety.

As we grieve and give ourselves permission to feel the loss, we are letting go of the energy and pain which is connected to the past. This helps us open to the present and move towards the future with more lightness and joy.

Ancient Cultures Knew

In the north of India, we have professional mourners called rudali who were hired to mourn at deaths. In the south of India we have people hired to sing the oppari, or a sad, mournful song they write about the dead person in order to help people grieve. In many Asian countries, Africa and the Middle East (including Israel during Jesus‘ time) professional mourners were hired.

A eulogy is sung in a dramatic sobbing voice which gives permission to all friends and relatives to wail. This part of the ceremony is necessary for drawing out emotions that may be pushed down, because of the practicalities of organising the funeral. Reminiscing about the dead person brings awareness back to the emotions that are better addressed while the corpse is still there, reminding one of the physical presence of the person. This scene can be brought back into one's consciousness, even later, to churn up layers of unresolved grief and release them through tears.

Benefits of Tears

There are basal, reflex and emotional tears. Basal tears lubricate while blinking, and help us see. Reflex tears get rid of irritants as with cutting onions. Emotional tears release toxins and adrenaline from the system. Suppressing tears increases stress levels. Crying is cathartic. It releases the stress on nervous and cardiovascular systems.

Through overactivation of the sympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of our fight, flight or freeze response, our bodies build up an excess of adrenaline and are more prone to becoming toxic - both emotionally and physically. This overactivation of the sympathetic nervous system is so prevalent in modern society due to so much stimulus and busyness, yet it has become normalized. The process of crying releases the build up of toxins through the lacrimal glands. Thus, tears release old fears. Many times we do not even realize the layers of unresolved fears that we have unconsciously buried.

Tears are a good form of self soothing and those who grieve a traumatic experience are less likely to suffer from PTSD. During the Arkaya teacher training, I encourage people not to shy away from tears. Many of us have been conditioned to repress them due to messages from parents, society and media. However this physiological response is important to detoxify the system of unhealthy emotions. If we do not release these old physical and emotional toxins, we will perceive the world through the lens of these fears. In this way, we miss out on the experience of our inherent joy and capacity for healthy relationships.

Tears are not always rooted in fear, pain and loss. Tears coming from a place of being deeply touched by life are also one of the richest human experiences. They are like the flowing, timeless river that smoothes out our rough edges and connects us to the most tender parts of our heart.

We need to grieve. It is human. We need to grieve not just the loss of a person or relationship but also the loss of old paradigms and ideologies that do not serve us anymore. Then it becomes much easier to naturally rise into a new harmonious world order.