TRANSFORMING ANGER AND FRUSTRATION: Theme for Online Arkaya Community Class, 25th April 2020,

ANGER - Three main kinds of anger and how to acknowledge, accept and transform it through self awareness and practice.

This will be addressed on Saturday April 25th during our Online Arkaya Community Class in the second portion. The zoom session is from 11 am to 1.00 pm every Saturday.

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http://www.arkaya.net/yoga-events/2020/4/25/weekly-online-arkaya-community-classes

HEALTHY ANGER Vs UNRESOLVED ANGER Vs TOXIC ANGER

HEALTHY ANGER

Many times I have seen people categorize anger as bad. It is definitely not high on the emotional vibration list, yet when healthy anger comes through, it can allow us to have better boundaries and shift situations for the better. This is the anger that arises when we see abuse, manipulation, injustice or aggression and call in the cleansing fire to clear that pattern or entanglement.  It is a beautiful impetus to establish a higher order and fairness. When dealt with consciously, it leaves no residue on a karmic level, as it is not personal. When one is unaware it is easy to mistake the other two kinds of anger and impatience for healthy anger and justify it.

UNRESOLVED ANGER

Here we see an exaggerated reaction to a situation and a minor or major melt down. This seems messy, yet when fully owned and embraced it can become a big blessing.
 This can also give us insights about ourselves and our deep rooted traumas and conditioning but not necessarily connected to the present situation. These suppressed and unresolved emotions from the past are signalling to us to do the inner work . Situations in the present are coloured by the veils of these past unresolved emotions. Some  have an exaggerated sense of self or self righteousness to mask low self esteem and exhibit critical , competitive behaviour. It can be self directed, other directed, passive or active, on the thought level or expressed.

This is further fed by a society that values busyness, productivity and consumerism where one never feels enough, running on adrenaline and subscribing to win/ lose outcomes. It will only deplete the individual and further fray nerves, if one does not consciously move away from that downward spiral.

Apart from the Arkaya group classes and practices, getting one on one support is good with the Arkaya full spectrum coaching. One will start to notice the edges as they arise and start taking ownership, which is the first step. The second step is making amends, knowing one has stolen energy, through one’s aggression, from the collective pool. This can be done by doing something for the person one has been edgy or impatient with. For example offer a 30 min to 1 hour specific seva to the person,the irritation has been projected on. This is important to release the sense of self importance and self centredness this anger breeds. The less you expect the other to baby sit you post a melt down or post edginess, the more maturity you will grow into. Have a repeat or retake conversation first owning your part. Then explain how you were triggered, if the trigger was legitimate. Or if what the person said or did was twisted by your lazy or veiled mind to serve as a trigger, then own it. This is part of the yama or observances and the first anga or limb of yoga. These veils are further lifted through the practice of pranayama or conscious expansion of energy.

One will start to get a better understanding of the unconscious thought processes that contribute to these edges and not justify them anymore as one keeps doing the integrated Arkaya practice. One will see how one’s own control dramas are self defeating. One will learn to see the deeper emotions like grief and the fear of not being enough and allow a space for processing emotions as well as old traumas. This will lead to more harmony , integration of the koshas or fields and surrender to the highest. Those with unresolved anger, when they take responsibility, make amends and apply the Arkaya emotional management principles can shift for the better smoothly into spiritual maturity.

TOXIC ANGER

Toxic anger on the other hand is when one constantly harbours anger due to a strong identification with that characteristic and there is justification or denial of that behaviour. This habit can start in early childhood as a defense mechanism and if not processed ruin relationships. The present situation becomes a way to throw anger on any unsuspecting person, as one did not do the work of inner cleaning.  This suppressed anger makes one magnify every problem, hyper react to situations and want ones way. This anger will find something or someone or the world to be angry or upset about. It will not even have compassion for the vulerable like animals, children or the elderly.

This unresolved anger is a messenger to the angry person to do the inner work on a much more intensive level. Yet many with this kind of toxic anger will resist it the most as they can have an illusion of perfection. The more they resist acknowledging and processing this, the more it will become a feeding ground for other swampy emotions. Those with this anger could simply say , people in general are difficult and demonise them without seeing how disruptive and hyper reactionary they are. Or project constantly without owning their part. Some may not even see this side as there might be a fragmentation or split and hence live in the illusion of being the perfect one and the wronged one.

It is mostly mixed in with entitlement, terror, jealousy, self righteousness and wanting ones way. A lack of maturity and misinterpretation situations to justify this anger will be seen, with many layers of muddled emotions, darkness and distortions.
The more a person holds this kind of anger the more of a personality trait it becomes. Some may have a personable side , which makes it more confusing to deal with . The other part of them that is affiliated to this anger energy will be unreasonable , impulsive, cold, not empathetic and not want resolution. This could rear its ugly head, just when you feel you had closure with them. One never knows which side one will get. It wants to devour the person who now has become a target and does not agree with them.

This only breeds more chaos, unless the root of this toxic anger is addressed and years of distorted perception and conditioning shifted. This will take a longer process of therapy and support and the person may need a hard knock to see the problem lies within.
They hold grudges, are vengeful and seek to destroy the person who is the target, going for the jugular either energetically, physically or verbally.

They could go from zero to 90 in seconds and think that is perfectly fine or be blind to it.
They make a lot of threats , can be manipulative , abusive and a bully wearing the mask of the victim. It takes discernment to know a true victim from one who uses it as a cover for the terror, possessiveness, vindictiveness and volcanic anger they hold. Closer interactions will bring this more to the surface. This anger requires the strongest boundary else empaths, can get sucked into their sob story rather than holding them accountable.

Their deep rooted shame due to a fragmentation and one upmanship will be thrown onto the other, belittling , abusing and shaming them. Many years of therapy are required to get to the root of this deep rooted trait and we have a list of recommended therapists. We also facilitate individual one on one sessions, for selective individuals and units, if there is commitment. We have seen that both the verbal clarifying, emotional processing, loving realignment and energetic clearing has shifted things for the better tremendously. This can also be facilitated via phone . Usually it is parents bringing in their children, where the parents are committed and marked improvements have been seen. New neural pathways are possible and new habits superimpose old entitled ones, where anger and frustration is the go to emotion, when one’s thoughts or behaviour are challenged .