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PLATITUDES PLATED FOR A PRICE
A platitude is a dull or trite remark, especially one uttered as if it were fresh and profound. It gives the false impression of wisdom when it actually is propagating irrelevant ideas, falsehood and in certain cases causes damage. So if you find someone serving you stale or saccharine sweet spiritual smoothy, go elsewhere. Or better still, drink from your own cup.
PLATITUDE 1 - “GET OUT OF VICTIM MODE”
I was on a women’s forum a while ago and one of the ladies shared that she was suicidal. Her ex boyfriend was very abusive and even raped her. She had a baby through him and his sister even warned her that he had abused another of his girlfriends as well.
He had now brought a very young bride from a third world country and impregnated her.
This woman who posted was suicidal not only because of him discarding her but because she had developed an autoimmune condition due to trauma as well as Addison's disease where the adrenal glands were severely compromised.
She shared a lot more but even this is enough to see that she was manipulated and this man had no empathy for his victims. I saw many posts that were encouraging, however many that asked her to not be the victim and take charge of her life.
I felt inspired to comment
THE FIRST STEP TO HEALING IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE ONE'S VICTIMISATION OR THAT ONE HAS BEEN A TARGET OF ABUSE
I told her the first step to healing was to acknowledge that another human , especially one she had opened herself upto and trusted had hurt her physically, emotionally and mentally. Only when we acknowledge our hurt, can we heal our pain. Else we are pretending it is not there and suppress or escape it through mind numbing activities or drugs. If you have been a target of abuse, your nervous system will respond. So whether you say victim of abuse or target of abuse, it still needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.
Only when we acknowledge our hurt, can we heal our pain - Yogacharini Maitreyi
EXCESSIVE STRESS LEADS TO SYMPATHETIC OVERDRIVE
Stress as we know is a self protective mechanism in response to threat. In healthy doses it keeps us on track. When we set deadlines to finish a few things within reasonable limits we are subjecting ourselves to stress or healthy stress. In excess it can wear down our body and mind.
The body goes into sympathetic overdrive due to excessive stress. This means we are in fight, flight or freeze mode constantly. Or even fawn mode to survive. This causes a breakdown of the adrenals and our immunity is compromised. When we are stuck in the freeze mode without resolution we develop autoimmune conditions.
FAWNING
In fawn mode we comply and please the abuser to survive as the unconscious mind feels the power imbalance. It perceives a threat to one's existence and feels harm will come upon us if we revolt or stand up. Fawning is a survival response and not much spoken of as the other three responses are better known.
That is why even though a person may not be a high quality person one will find many fawners or ‘jalras” as we say in Tamil as they unconsciously feel they will be favoured and protected by this person because of the power or position they hold. It is like paying a bribe to the mafia. I have seen some young women who were sexually abused become hypersexual as they unconsciously and falsely believe that they will get attention, affection and therefore self worth through sexualisisng themselves.
In other cases family members support a rich family member, despite him/her being unscrupulous. Or the girlfriend of a serial rapist will hunt down victims for him to ensure her survival. Not to forget cults or religions where they feel they are the chosen ones if they follow all the superficial functions of being part of that cohort.
FAWNING Vs ALLYSHIP - ART OF CONSCIOUS ALIGNING
There are many ways fawning expresses itself where we align with those we think we will gain from. This is different from allyship where we stand/align with those whom we believe in and is a conscious, cohesive and uplifting process. Fawning is disempowered aligning while allyship is empowered aligning
Fawning is a disconnected process where one is not aligned with one's higher consciousness.
Allyship is when we stand up to the injustices as well as want the greater good of all.
ALLYSHIP WITH FIRST NATIONS AND THE ABUSED
The last few months I sat with the deep pain of the discovery of many bodies of young children from residential schools. More and more were being uncovered after the initial discoveries at Kamloops. The cartoon above shows spiritual bypassing at its best.
We had many discussions about it and you can see more here in the last blog post: https://www.arkaya.net/blog/2021/6/12/cultural-appropriation-first-nations
TONY ROBBINS - DO NOT BE A VICTIM
A few years ago I had no opinion of this man. However, students and friends sent me a video of how he asked victims not to push back as it was only going to make the aggressor angry. He also said that they were looking for significance. I was anyway not part of a life that was enamoured by the monstrosity of numbers or the histrionics of self help motivators.
I later saw a few videos of Tony Robbins. Even as he evangelised a few positive platitudes to a man and woman, his body language lacked reverence. He was literally in your face and to me that is a sure sign of someone having no awareness of personal boundaries. Same goes for dudes who try to stare into my eyes in the name of spirituality or eye gazing. Or mass healers like John of God. Unconscious energetic trespassing !!
So I was not surprised when I heard about the empire he had managed to build. This energetic trespassing and control was very typical of cults or those who lacked sensitivity and empathy.
It reminded me of the verbal hypnotic indoctrination that unscrupulous faith healers and cult leaders use.
However I also see how in a desensitised and dense work, the dramatics wakes you and shakes you up. It sells not because it stirs your soul but through energetic encroaching makes you a fawning monkey. These fawners, who have sold their soul, spew the same stupid platitudes of their rock star, that can cause further damage. I am not negating the sense of community, the circulation of ideas and some energetic shifts that these mass pop motivators bring. Just like a good dance and a mind jog has benefits, this too has them.
However one must become aware of the aggressive toxic positivity and the hype that replaces the essence of healing. We will look at in further blogs on spiritual bypassing 108.
Yoga helps us get out of this sympathetic overdrive. We find true freedom where we do not have to succumb to the lies the world or so called powerful people try to feed us. We can honour the simple yet profound truths by applying this beautiful art and science when practiced in its authentic form.
(45) 'My father is a monster': John of God accused of running sex slave farm - YouTube
Leaked Records Reveal Tony Robbins Berated Abuse Victims - Bing video
Is Tony Robbins a Fraud? | BuzzFeed Allegations & Bad Mental Health Advice - Bing video
Woman who confronted superstar life coach Tony Robbins speaks out - Bing video
More Women Come Forward To Accuse Tony Robbins Of Inappropriate Sexual Conduct - Bing video
Woman Who Schooled Tony Robbins On MeToo Talks To Megyn Kelly | Megyn Kelly TODAY - Bing video