RECONNECT TO YOUR HEART - Part 2

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In the last blog we looked at heart resonance and the powerful electromagnetic field the heart carries. 

Link to view last blog post:

http://www.arkaya.net/blog/2021/2/13/reconnect-to-your-heart-valentine

That is why we ask: what is your heart's longing or heart's desire? We do not say mind’s longing. The intent and oxytocin produced by the heart is a way to magnetise things into our life.

When someone says something sincere, we say heartfelt. If something like a soup is nourishing and substantial or a person is cheerful we say, hearty meal or hearty laugh. Or, if there is loss, we say heartache. And not to forget Mel Gibson's movie, Braveheart!

The Anahatha Chakra And Attachment

The sages, rishis, or ancient researchers (as I like to refer to them) had specific names for the chakras for specific reasons. Anahatha means “unstruck,” “untainted” or “pure.” The element associated with the chakra is air and the sense organ is the sense of touch. 

One of my neighbours and friends reached out to me this week. I could feel her body in crisis and she told me she needed a hug. My heart went out to her as she said she needed to be held.

What was meant to be a five minute meeting outside my door before I went to get groceries turned into a long connection of the heart for over an hour and a half. She shared about sexual boundaries being crossed. As I held her in a deep embrace I wanted to squeeze the pain out of her. I know she is a strong woman yet the hurt child in her was shying away from holding the person accountable. I knew she was more than capable to stand up for herself and others. Through touch and conversation I only made sure she was heard and supported in the process. She evoked in me this maithriyatha or motherly care and love.

Conscious touch or sparsha gives us courage to stand up for what is right. That is why babies not just thrive on touch but need touch to survive. 

An interesting article on this topic:

https://stpauls.vxcommunity.com/Issue/us-experiment-on-infants-withholding-affection/13213

Touch gives us the comfort of feeling that we are fine and have support. We feel that all aspects of us, including the pain, misery and doubt are included in the embrace and not excluded from the hug.

That is why the primary caregiver and our relationship to this primary caregiver is so important in our lives. It defines how we relate later to our romantic partners as well. I am so thankful to my mom and grandmother for being present to my needs when I was younger. 

This is described well by attachment theory. However, it can change as we grow and evolve. We do not have to feel stuck in insecure attachment and can move towards secure attachment despite our childhood. This is the process of conscious reparenting through yoga.

As we work on the heart chakra using many yogic tools and principles, we move towards secure attachment in relationships. It is not just some esoteric “woo woo” we do with the heart chakra. By doing the inner work we learn to show up as stable individuals in our relationships and create stability in love. Being able to hold space for ourselves and our loved ones is the benefit of a healthy heart chakra.

Karuna and courage

This morning I was so happy to get a text from my friend thanking me for the time and saying she had decided to contact the other person who was victim of this same abusive pattern in the perpetrator, as I had suggested. She has reported this therapist and also knows she is not alone.

We are all brave hearts in our own right, when we feel supported enough to stand up for what is right and create the world we want to see. When we can have karuna or compassion for ourselves and others. Even though we all have our individual wars to fight or challenges to face, it helps having a good, skilled army or teammates with integrity. This commitment and ability to stand for what is right and move through challenges is what yoga gives us. In romantic relationships as well we are not hyper reacting or running away at the slightest trigger.

What helps us to be and to embody being more of a brave heart is to know deep within that we are loved. Sometimes the ones who loved us with such depth need not even be alive. My grandfather, my first guru was one such person for me. I knew he would not bat an eyelid to give up his own life for mine. He would constantly remind me that even if I killed a person I could come to him. I found it strange as a teenager, that he would say that. “Why would I kill someone?” I would ask. And he said, “I know your soul and even if you did, I know you would do it for the right reasons. So do not hide and come to me.” “Ok,” I said, though I smiled to myself :). 

So as much as it confused and humoured me, then, I grew to see what he meant over the years. Thankfully I never had to kill anyone but know what it means to stand up for what is right and not cow down to threats or intimidation, thanks to the depth of love he gave me.

Real yoga helps us to stand up for those we love or the principles of harmony we love. Working with the anahatha chakra through its different channels helps us access this courage and compassion. Through compassion and knowing we cannot stand back and do nothing, we naturally become courageous.

The ones that go down in history are not the brutal amassers of wealth but those who have fought for their motherland and protected her or those who have stood up for their people and values. All of us can access this depth of love and courage by the chakra rebalancing practices. So let us tap into the full power of the chakra , especially the anahatha this Valentine’s month

Aham Prema - Love And Its Different Shades

Aham means "I" and Prema means "pure love." In both Sanskrit and Tamil we have different words for love. We will chant this manthra to not only be reminded that we are love but to clear anything that is not love: 

Om Aham Prema

Mathru prema is motherly love that is pure and unconditional.

Athma prema is love for the spirit in us that is having a human experience. It is love for our human experience in the context of our spiritual journey. Athma means “individual consciousness” or “soul.” So it literally translates to “soul love” or “Self love.” A self love that is not self obsessed nor has narcissistic tendencies, but a love that can sit deep within the cave of one's heart to commune with the cosmic heart. 

Sneha is motherly love and also affectionate love. 

Kama is a lustful love. It is sensory and need based and does not bring any unhealthy enmeshment, if rightly identified as such, without giving it frills. There was no shame in kama in India as long as it was in line with dharma and artha. Dharma is universal harmony or laws that bring this harmony. So if one is not tuned into dharma then one is taught and told one cannot lust after a woman who is not willing. That means if you are watching porn where an unwilling victim or someone who has been trafficked is made to perform you are still out of alignment with dharma. This does not stop too many, yet those studying under a teacher will be reminded of the karmic repercussions of this. 

Artha means material wealth. So, for example, if one is squandering the family wealth, or things that do not solely belong to them, on these lustful pursuits - once again that is not advised. To find means and ways to have ones kama fulfilled, in line with dharma and artha is important. There is no shame attached to acknowledging these needs. And, hence, seeking to fulfill the need in dharmic ways is fine. The key here is conscious consent. Why I say conscious consent is because I have a couple of clients who were groomed when very young. Alcohol was also used with one of them and that does not amount to consent.

Shringara is the aspect of intimate, connected love. This form of romantic longing is depicted in many classical dance forms through abhinaya or facial gestures. It is very evocative and beautiful to see a dancer depict her shades of shyness, stories, teasing, emotional connection and heart opening that she has with her lover. Some dance dramas even depict nature as being part of this beautiful love affair. The earth waiting for union with the rain and the flower waiting for the kiss of the bee. This rasa or essence of being or emotion is one of the nava rasas or nine essences in classical Indian dance. Parvathi and Shiva, Radha and Krishna, share this rasa. This is to give them very human emotions and make them relatable. In this video the dance depicts shringara by the maiden dressing up for her lover and feeling love and excitement for him as she looks into the mirror. 

See a video of it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK8shVJj-6Y

Another depiction of the navarasas, starting with shringara: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JajC05AdxY

Maithri and Maithreyi indicate a friendly, compassionate love. Mithra is one of the aspects of the sun that shines like a friend on everyone. This aspect of friendly, loving kindness is what we need to feel towards those who are in alignment with dharma or harmony and not make their lives difficult through jealousy or ill will. Patanali beautifully lays it out in Chapter 1 verse 33 of the Yoga Sutras. 

Bhakthi is devotional love which indicates love for a more expansive way of being. There is a stream in yoga called bhakthi yoga which helps us anchor in this kind of love. Though different manifestations of this expansive universal creation are invoked, one need not necessarily believe in a god. One simply needs to know one does not know it all and be open to hearing the whispers of the heart through manthra, kirthan and others practices.

Karuna is compassion, which is also a form of love or heart opening. In dance, karuna is depicted as feeling for the other, which means empathy. It also has the action word Kar in it which means one acts  to make someone's life better. It does not stop with feeling sad or bad for another as with the english word compassion. That is why a simple translation does not cut it when the word means much more.

Dhaya is also compassion. It indicates mercy as well.

Mudhitha means a love that cherishes and delights in another. It finds joy in the well being of  others.

Patanjali mentions maithri, karuna and mudhitha along with upekshanam (or even mindedness/equanimity) when it comes to dealing with different kinds of people.

The above are tasters for the words that indicate love in Sanskrit. There are close to 300 words in Sanskrit for love and we can see many nuances of the myriad emotions it evokes in us. My grandparents, despite colonisation, had this love for language and the nuances it evokes. My generation and younger generations are losing the appreciation for these nuances as we were sent to convents and English has become the language of corporate business in India.

Lesser known love words are: 

jushti - love that evokes service

tharamaithraka - starfriend love

vanachandhatha - love and longing for the forest 

uthkantitha - longing as well as regretting love. 

We find many Indians named after different kinds of love like; Preethi, Anuraag, Prema, Madhana, Rathi. I know at least one person with each of the listed names in India. So as with the language of Sanskrit, the Indian culture and yogic culture was a culture of LOVE.